Season: 2

Original Airdate: August 18, 2000

Writer(s): Richard Manning

Director(s): Rowan Woods

Guest Stars
Kent McCord as Jack Crichton
Carmen Duncan as Leslie Crichton
Wayne Pygram as Scorpius
Lani Tupu as Bialar Crais
Murray Bartlett as DK
Thomas Holesgrove as Grath

Script: View

Synopsis: Crichton finds himself back on Earth, apparently safely returned from his failed Farscape mission. Immediately suspicious, Crichton then starts seeing the crew of Moya one by one in various earthbound guises – Aeryn as a doctor, Zhaan as a psychiatrist, even Rygel as an executive. Eventually, Scorpius too appears, but unlike the others, he claims to know what is really going on. He tells John that this new earth is a hallucination created by a Scarran agent, and that in reality, John is a captive. The Scarrans know that Scorpius is interested in John, and through this freakish interrogation technique, they intend to find out why – at the expense of Crichton’s sanity.

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John: Jack: John?
John: That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.


Jack: Hey, how you feeling?
John: Hot. Dizzy. Kinda – feel like I’ve been hit by a house.


John: Won’t get fooled again. (he pushes to door open to reveal – the woman’s toilet – with a woman in it – instead of the nothing he found in the last alien construct of Earth he was in)
Woman: Hey! You mind?
John: Sorry, I ah, thought it was co-ed.
Woman: Co-ed? What planet are you from?
John: Not this one.


Zhaan: Sorry to keep you.
John: Zhaan.
Zhaan: Zhaan? Adjective or name?
John: It’s a name.
Dr Kaminsky [Zhaan]: Then I’m afraid you’re mistaken. I’m Dr Kaminsky.
John: U-huh. And ah you are a psychiatrist? I don’t think so. On Earth psychiatrists don’t come in blue.
Dr Kaminsky [Zhaan]: Do you have a problem with people of color?
John: I have a contextual problem. You’re an alien.
Dr Kaminsky [Zhaan]: Yes, that’s true. But I do have a green card.
John: Interesting. Are you, or are you not blue?
Dr Kaminsky [Zhaan]: Would it matter to you if I was?
John: Do you always answer a question with a question?
Dr Kaminsky [Zhaan]: Does that bother you?
John: Stop it! Facts; You’re a Delvian. A plant. 10th Level Pa’u. We shared Unity once.
Dr Kaminsky [Zhaan]: Shared Unity. Interesting euphemism. No Mr Crichton, you and I have never had sex.


John: Not in this joint, no. And my enemies haven’t revealed themselves yet.
Dr Kaminsky [Zhaan]: And who are they?
John: The Ancients? Nah, they picked my brain already. Maldis? Hm-mm. Not his style – not gothic enough. Delvians hm yeah! Occam’s Razor, Tahleen and her wacky bunch. Come out, come out, wherever you are! And see the young man who fell from the star!


John: Dig your style, Ringo.


John:Oh. Right. You are. So what’s your name? Who do you play in this – funhouse?
Scorpius: You know my name. Scorpius.
John: Scorpy – you don’t fit the pattern. You got not Halloween costume, got no assumed name – you’re not playing a role. That suggests something to me. That suggests that you are the man behind the curtain!


Jack: I’ve only talked to him on the phone. I don’t know. Nasty piece of work though.
John: Nasty? Excellent. Let’s talk to him.


John: So that’s the play? The play, the play, the play is the thing. I reenact my initial mission. I show you how I create the giant blue twister that sucks me down to Oz! Forget about it. Don’t know how I did it.


Officer Muldoon [Crais]: Assault on a Police Officer! Theft of police property! Illegal possession of a firearm! 5 counts of attempted murder! That comes to – $29.40! Cash, check, or credit card! Toto.
John: This thing has gone completely off the rails. Or maybe I have.


John: You’re Harvey. Or is it Clarence? Guardian angel? Invisible rabbit? Harvey. Does the Scarran know you’re here?


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