Season: 1

Original Airdate: April 9, 1999

Writer(s): Richard Manning

Director(s): Pino Amenta

Guest Stars
John Adam as Bekhesh
Jeremiah Tickell as Kyr
Zoe Dimakis as Hontovek

Script: View

Synopsis: Rygel borrows a valuable crystal essential to Moya’s survival, hoping to impress Tavlek Traders interested in business. However, the Tavleks’ real business is holding important hostages for ransom, and they kidnap Rygel and the crystal. Crichton and the others obtain a powerful gauntlet weapon from a captured Tavlek to aid their rescue of Rygel, but they find that using the Tavleks’ weaponry is almost as deadly as the Tavleks themselves.

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John:You’re right. We know almost nothing about the Tavloids –
Aeryn: Tavleks.
John: Whatever. Tavloid, tav – We do know they will pay us to haul cargo which they’re not going to do if you go in there doing your – John Wayne impression.
Aeryn: John Wayne? Who’s that? A relative?
John: John Wayne? No. The big guy.” True Grit,” “The Searchers,” “The Cowboys,” “Genghis Khan.” – Uh no, look, forget about Genghis Khan – everybody makes a bad movie. But the point is –
Aeryn: Look. No. The point is that I’m not going to meet that shuttle unarmed. Simple as that.
John: Kung Fu! Kung Fu never carried a gun!


John: Yo! Butkis!


Kyr: Stimulant. Adds to our strength.
John: Stimulant? It’s a little more than cappuccino pal. Our friend just tried to kill us!
Kyr: Good!


D’Argo kicks a DRD that’s in his path
Pilot: Was that necessary?
D’Argo: It felt good! Give me navigation. Now!


John: Check it out! It’s a water balloon!
Aeryn: Here.
John: What?
Aeryn: Oh, you think you can throw it with any accuracy?
John: Yeah, I grew up with these things…. Excellent!


John: Good night, sweet prince!


John: That’s your plan? Wile E. Coyote would come up with a better plan than that! What, you’re just gonna go down there by yourself?


John: You shanghai my ass down here and now you want me to lead? Give me one good reason.
Aeryn: Lots of reasons. Land mines. Fire snakes. Razor grass. Night vision snipers, Morlian death spiders…


D’Argo: Well he’s probably at the wrong end of some Tavlek weapon somewhere.
Aeryn: Imagine – somewhere out there there’s a whole world of Crichton’s. How useless that must be!
D’Argo: It’s amazing he could actually provide us with some common ground.
Aeryn: Who’d have thought there’d be a race more clumsy and pathetic than the Luxans? Ouch!
D’Argo: I’m sorry. You know how clumsy we Luxans can be.


John: Hey! Check out the critter.
Jotheb: Critter?
D’Argo: Critter? What’s your problem? Find Rygel.


John: So once I get it on, how do I get it to work?
D’Argo: It just uh… does.
John: Willpower. Like the Green Lantern’s ring. Okay. Here goes nothing.


John: How about we call this thing a draw? You don’t really want Rygel anyway.
Bekhesh: Why don’t I?
John: ‘Cos…ah… He’s not really a king.
Rygel: I’m not?
Bekhesh: He’s not?
John: He’s an escaped mental patient. Delusions of royalty.
Rygel: You’re the mental patient if you expect anybody to believe that I- OOF!
Bekhesh: He’s not insane.
Rygel: I could be.
John: Uh… No. He’s not insane. But. . . ah. . . he is sick. (Rygel coughs) He’s very sick, Very contagious. You ever hear of chicken pox?
Bekhesh: He’s not sick.
John: Right he’s NOT sick. But he… he is worthless. No one is gonna pay his ransom
Bekhesh: The Consortium of Trao will.
John: No. They won’t. I just talked to your other prisoner. The four-throated cat? They’re not gonna do it. What you blame them? Look, Rygel is an obnoxious gas bag and who’s gonna shell out for that?
Rygel: He’s right. I’m unloved, unwanted, unpopular – (Bekhesh kicks the sack) -unconscious…


John: Piece o’ cake.


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