Season: 2

Original Airdate: March 17, 2000

Writer(s): Richard Manning

Director(s): Andrew Prowse

Guest Stars
Lani Tupu as Bialar Crais
Wayne Pygram as Scorpius
David Franklin as Braca

Script: View

Synopsis: Crichton, Aeryn and D’Argo are stranded in an asteroid field while Scorpius searches for them. Their safety depends on Crais, who is nearby in Talyn. Aeryn teaches Crais how to control the young Leviathan – the only thing she can offer in return for the lives of her friends. When Moya returns to the asteroid field to look for her offspring, and Crichton decides to remove Crais from control of Talyn, Scorpius finally sees his chance to strike.

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John: D’Argo. Shake it off. Come on Rock. Get off the canvas. You can do it. Rise and shine. Up and at ’em. Break through. Man, this is getting old. Least you could do is talk in your sleep.

 


John: She’s in the Prowler grocery shopping. This rock gets a 9 on atmosphere but only 2 on food and water.

 


D’Argo: As John once said, ‘I would rather go down on a swing.’
John: Swinging. You wanna go down swinging.
D’Argo: Swinging.

 


Playing Rock Paper Scissors 
John: Again?
D’Argo: Yeah.
John: One, two, three.
D’Argo: Again, I win!
John: No, I win. Paper wraps rock.
D’Argo: No, paper cannot possibly beat rock.
John: It does. Paper beats rock.
D’Argo: Rock rips through paper!
John: D’Argo, that’s not how it works! Paper – beats – rock!
D’Argo: That’s unrealistic.
John: Well, it’s the rules! And it’s not supposed to be realistic, it’s supposed to be entertaining!
D’Argo: My coma was more entertaining.
John: It’s a kids’ game.

 


John: I have a question. How many times have we saved each others’ lives?
Aeryn: I’ve lost count.
John: Safe to say more than once?
Aeryn: Sure.
John: Right, and how many times have you and I been close?
Aeryn: Just the once.
John: Uh, nonono, not that kind of close.
Aeryn: Oh. Um. Friend close.
John: Yes.

 


D’Argo: It was a time-saver. You look after her while I go and break Crais’ neck!
John: D’Argo, you couldn’t break wind right now! I’m going!

 


Crais: Crichton!
John: I – I know. Sorry. You know, I shoulda called, but I was in the neighborhood, thought I’d drop in. Say hi. How ya doing?
Crais: Where is Officer Sun? Have you harmed her?
John: You’re asking me if I’ve harmed Aeryn? That’s a winner Crais. Do Sebaceans have a word for chutzpah?
Crais: What do you want, Crichton?
John: Oh, a couple of things. Your head on a platter, for starters.

 


Crais: Simply to escape. To travel deeper into the uncharted territories. To re-examine my path.
John: You want to have a mid-life crisis? Fine. Good. Just – ditch the firm, head off to Maui, shack up with the supermodel, but you do not get to keep the Porsche! You don’t get the keys to Moya’s baby.

 


Chiana: Moya’s in full lunatic mother mode.
Rygel: She’ll blunder right into Scorpius’ bad teeth!

 


John: Yo, Chi! What up?
Chiana: Stay where you frelling are! How do I know it’s you?
John: You wanna check my birthmarks?

 


John: Somebody call for a taxi?

 


Talking to Rygel who is gasping for air
D’Argo: Are, uh, are you not well?
John: You got a frog in your throat? You need a Hynerian Heimlich?

 


John: Ouch. Let’s get that boy some guidance before he turns into a full-blown Menendez brother.

 


John: Man! Haven’t you people ever heard of fuses?
Pilot: Moya is unhurt. But the defense screen is out.
Chiana: No – really?

 


John: You better behave yourself with Talyn. And Aeryn. ‘Cos if you hurt either one of them – I’m going to hunt you down.
Crais: You hunt me down. That would complete the symmetry nicely, wouldn’t it?

 


Pilot: He’ll contact her from time to time and let her know he’s okay.
John: Oh they say they’ll call home, Pilot, once a week. They never do.

 


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