Season: 2

Original Airdate: July 28, 2000

Writer(s): David Kemper

Director(s): Andrew Prowse & Tony Tilse

Guest Stars
Wayne Pygram as Scorpius
Matt Day as Tyno
Tina Bursill as Empress Novia
Felicity Price as Princess Katralla
Felix Williamson as Prince Clavor
Bianca Chiminello as Jena
Aaron Cash as Dregon
Thomas Holesgrove as Cargn
Nicholas McKay as Voice of Cargn
Francesca Buller as ro-NA
Jonathan Hardy as Kahaynu
David Franklin as Lt. Braca

Script: View

Synopsis: Agents working for Prince Clavor try to assassinate Crichton, but their efforts are thwarted by Clavor’s fiancee, Jenavian Charto. She turns out to be a secret Peacekeeper Operative on a mission to stop Clavor from taking the throne and making a deal with the Scarrans. Crichton goes into hiding, assisted by the Royal retainer, ro-Na. Meanwhile, Zhaan, Moya and Pilot meet the ‘Builder’ Kahaynu, one of the Leviathan creators. Angry over the birth of the gunship Talyn, Kahaynu orders nothing less than the immediate death of Moya.

John: Do not try to kill me again. It makes me angry.
ro-NA: Is everything all right?
John: He needs a bath and a hug.

 


Princess Katralla: If you don’t want to marry me – just say so.
John: I already said so. Lady, we have been over this ground with a backhoe. It works for both of us – It saves my life, it saves your ass. (Katralla slaps him ) Okay. I did deserve that.

 


John: Do we, do we know this?
Princess Katralla: I’ve never seen anything like it before.
John: Obi-Wan had one… except his is a lot smaller.

 


John: Buckle in boys and girls. Emergency exits, hammond side. I’m driving.

 


ro-NA: It is filled with wedding presents for the Princess and yourself.
John: Presents? Nonono – you’ve done enough. I’m gonna talk to the Mrs, you can keep the presents. You need a toaster right?
ro-NA: Toaster? Toaster toaster toaster toaster – Uh – oh – I couldn’t – Highness.
John: It’s John. Look, I’m gonna be a statue for 80 cycles. Someone oughta use the stuff while the warranties are still good.
ro-NA: Our culture frowns on acquisition. We live to serve, not to possess.
John: So you don’t own your own stuff?
ro-NA: No. To what end does possessory wealth serve?
John: Well – good question. Before I left Earth I had a lot of things that were very important to me.
ro-NA: No more?
John: I live in a converted cell. I don’t have a VCR, no remote control… Damn – no Charlie Parker albums. And I do miss my ’62 T-bird. But – you discover you need very little.
ro-NA: And do you miss not having these things?
John: Not really. Priorities change.
ro-NA: I often wonder what I would do with wealth!
John: Well I tell you what – if there’s ever anything I can do to help you find it – you let me know.
ro-NA: I shall remember those words Highness.
John: It’s John.
ro-NA: Yeeesss Highness yes…

 


John: Wow. This place has an interesting smell. It’s not exactly a 5-star hotel is it? But at least it’s off the main road.

 


Scorpius: Because the wormhole technology locked in your brain makes you, to my knowledge, unique in the galaxy.
John: Unique.
Scorpius: And unique, is always valuable. Yes.
John: Unique. Unique…
Braca: Stop! Or I will shoot you!
John: Really? You promise?
Braca: Sit down! I said sit down!
John: Or what? You’re gonna shoot me?
Braca: If I have to.
John: Do me the favor! I don’t think so, you know? I don’t think Scorpy’s gonna give you your badge of commendation if you shoot “unique.”
Braca: Sit down or I’ll shoot your limbs off one at a time.
John: No no no no – see -Human. Sebacean. Human. Sebacean – we’re different – one wound – I bleed out! Oh! Officer Braca! What the frell happened? Hm? Hm? Hm? Hm? (he grabs the muzzle of Braca’s gun and jerks it up to his forehead) Fine! Let’s do it then! Let’s do this thing! Come on! Shoot me! Right here! Right here! Come on! Oh, nonono – not the brain, he wants the brain. The heart! (John yanks the muzzle of Braca’s gun down to his chest) Here! The heart. You should shoot me in the heart! Uuuhhh – kinda – yer left, right – Oh yeah! My right your left! My left your right! (John pushes the muzzle of the gun down to his crotch) Here! John Wayne Bobbit! Vienna Boys Choir!
Braca: You’re insane!
John: (taking the muzzle of the gun in his hand) My sex life! Kill my sex life! Now! Quick! Shoot! Just shoot! Man, don’t let him kill me! Don’t let him- You people are so dumb!

 


John: Never get off the boat. Never get off the boat, man!

 


John: Aw – this is not happening – just feel free to wake me up any time D’Argo.
D’Argo: Well now I can only speak truth. And that comes as good and bad news.
John: All right. Give me the bad news first.
D’Argo: The bad news is that you’re married, and must endure as a statue for 80 cycles in a strange world.
John: What’s the good news.
D’Argo: Chiana and I are having fantastic sex.