Season: 2

Original Airdate: July 14, 2000

Writer(s): Gabrielle Stanton &
Harry Werksman, Jr.

Director(s): Catherine Millar

Guest Stars
N/A

Script: View

Synopsis: A mysterious energy sphere implants itself inside Moya and envelops Crichton. When Aeryn fires upon it, it ejects not one, but three Crichtons! One of them is the original, one of them is a de-evolved ‘Ape-Man Crichton’, and the other is a super-evolved ‘Future Crichton’. The energy sphere turns out to be a dimensional portal, and a transmission from this portal demands that unless one of the Crichtons is sent back, Moya will be pulled though in her entirety. It seems obvious to everyone to send the ape-Crichton back, but when he cannot be found, the original Crichton finds himself at the bottom of the evolutionary ladder.

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Pilot: Crichton? Aeryn?
John: Yes Mr. Bad News?

 


Aeryn: You weren’t the only thing to come out of that sphere. D’Argo’s tracking it down now.
John: Oh God – another critter. Right – I better go help him.
Zhaan: John you’re in no condition!
John: No, no – I’m okay! I just need a gun.
Chiana: Frell me! What happened to you?
John: Well that’s the $64,000 question. Aeryn, you got a gun?
Zhaan: John, please…
John: No – I’m okay, I just need to go help find the creature. Oo-whoa-OOPMH!
Aeryn: You alright?
Chiana: Did he really say creature?

 


CaveCrichton: Me John Cri-tohn.
John: Yeah, that’s a superb disguise, it’s foolin’ everybody. Who are you?
CaveCrichton: You! You!
John: God. Oh-ho, GOD! I love this. Okay, y-y-you wanna, you wanna stick with that routine? You wanna be the next to mess with me? Well get in line!
Chiana: No! Crichton!
John: Chiana! I’m sick of it! It’s bad enough bein’ spat out of some green blob, now I’ve got Quasimodo here sayin’ he’s me!

 


John: I mean who would want a copy of me, much less this – caveman version?
D’Argo: Caveman?
John: Yeah, it’s a primitive ancestor. They were supposed to have looked like that.
Rygel: You had ancestors that looked like that?
John: Yeah. What did yours look like?

 


CranioCrichton: Aeryn.
Aeryn: Don’t move.
CranioCrichton: Look, I’m freezin’ here and why the hell are you pointin’ a gun at me?
Aeryn: Who are you?
CranioCrichton: I’m John. John Crichton.
Aeryn: I don’t think so. For a start, John has more hair. Amongst other things. You gonna blame that on feeling cold?

 


CranioCrichton: Look – I understand the bizarreness of this situation. But I’m telling you the truth – I am John Crichton.
John: No, I’m John Crichton.
CranioCrichton: I don’t doubt that you’re telling the truth.
John: Good. Excellent. We’re making progress: I get to be me! Ergo – you’re not me.

 


John: Look – I’m not entirely sure here, I’m just kinda riffin’ it as I go – but the defense screen deflects energy, right?
D’Argo: Right.
John: So we use it to counteract the pull. I’m in Bill and Ted land here, so I’m open to suggestion!

 


CranioCrichton: Aeryn get me to the maintenance bay. At gunpoint if you have to, but get me to the maintenance bay.
Aeryn: At gunpoint.

 


John: Now let’s see if we can get a message to these body-snatchers.

 


John: You just told me you’d sell ’em down the river – let ’em go through the portal!

 


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